Thoughts of a Trying Insomniac

You know how it is, you get up early because you have to go work, spend all night at the pub, wake up early on Monday morning because you just know that you should be studying for that exam you have the next day which you haven’t even looked at, spend the day procrastinating so you start all your studying at night, get up early on Tuesday to go to your exam, then Tuesday night you have to study for your even more important exam on Thursday because you know you won’t get anything done tomorrow. Gotta get up early to watch the Champions League and your mate is coming over later so you aren’t going to get anymore work done. Thursday you have to get up early for your second (and last exam) and you know you are going to spend the rest of the day/evening in the pub. You would sleep in on Friday morning but for the fact that you have work again first thing. And it continues…

I’m not sure who invented sleeping, but it does seem like an awful waste of time. Surely it’s not all that important. Surely we won’t all develop an anarchist luddite alter ego with a penchant for fighting and blowing shit up will we? That said, I have actually run out of soap… No, back on topic, I mean there’s only 24 hours in a day as it is, why do we need to spend all that time asleep. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sleep in, but that’s not always possible and I can’t go to bed early as there’s too much to do (by which I mean too many blogs to read, too many films to watch etc etc etc). But, if we are going to need sleep, I’d prefer it the way cats do it. Sleep wherever you want, whenever you want, wake up and chase a mouse around until you get bored then go and get someone else to feed you. You then spend the rest of the evening plotting how you can take a dump on the floor and pin it on the pet dog. In fact, I reckon it’d be pretty damn cool being a cat.

But we’re off topic again. I don’t really have much more to say on this, but I guess my point is that sleep is overrated. Damn you God, or whoever it was that put us here. I mean sure, thanks and all, but you could’ve solved the issue of the short battery life a bit earlier couldn’t you? It didn’t take Nokia or Apple that long…